Whisper
by Kyla Kaiba1
Summary: Spike is back on the Bebop and everything seems to be going okay. But then someone puts a bounty on Spike's head and launches the Bebop crew into trouble. S/F. Please R&R.
1. You Oughta Know

((AN: This is my first CB fanfic, so it may be a little rough around the edges. Plus it's the first fanfic I've posted on Fanfiction.net so a little constructive criticism is nice too. By the way, I don't have a spellchecker on this particular word processor so if stuff's spelled wrong, DEAL WITH IT!!! ^_^)) ~Kyla  
  
Yeah, and y'all know that Cowboy Bebop most definately doesn't belong to me. I'd be richer than... well... lotsa people if it did. Then again, Spike belongs to me. Does that count? (^_^ Spike-lovers don't flame me for that!)  
  
(Oh, yeah, the name of this story was sorta "borrowed" from an Evanescence song... it IS an Evanescence song. ^_^)  
  
(Speaking of songs, in a kind of Bebop style each episode title has to do with music, but it's the title of a song that fits with the chapter... somewhat anyway. Should be interesting)  
  
Whisper  
  
By: Kyla Kaiba  
  
Chapter One: You Oughta Know  
  
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***  
  
The ship, Faye noticed, was quiet. Which, for the Bebop, was extremely unusual. She didn't hear Jet's patient tone, Ed's squealing, or Ein's barking. And, of course, she didn't hear Spike. Because Spike was gone.  
  
Of course.  
  
She wrapped her arms more tightly around her pillow and lay on her stomach in her dark bedroom. She didn't know how long she'd been lying there and honestly didn't care. What did it matter if she got up? There was nothing new to see. Nothing had changed. Life went on and on in endless spirals, but without Spike it was just... life. Some boring, pathetic existance. Besides, she was tired. She hadn't slept in three days. When she tried, nightmares woke her up almost instantly. Horrible nightmares of Spike bleeding... dying...  
  
Stop it! she commanded her mind. Stop playing tricks on me and showing me things I don't want to see. If you'd only let me accept that he's gone... then maybe I'd get over it. Maybe I'd get some rest...  
  
Faye Valentine was not a woman that brooded. She wasn't a woman that lamented over things. She'd gotten over her debts, Whitney, the gate incident. But, for some reason, she was brooding and lamenting over Spike. She couldn't get over him. Why?  
  
Because, you -  
  
If she said it, even in her mind, it would only make things worse. So she held the thought back and tried not to think about it. Her eyes slipped shut and the images came back to her. So she opened them again. Her room was as dark as the inside of her eyelids. But at least those horrible pictures were shut out this way.  
  
He'd run off to find Julia and she'd died. Yet, he was still avenging her. Still doing something to help her. How come he couldn't see Faye's feelings and let go of her? "You oughta know by now, Spike..." she whispered in the darkness.  
  
"Faye! Faye, you awake?"  
  
Jet. "Yeah..." she replied, surprised how scratchy and dead her voice was. She swallowed some of the brandy that was left in a bottle beside her bed. "What is it?"  
  
He picked up the tone of her voice instantly. "Can I come in?" he asked. He had to see how she looked and if she was doing all right. True, Jet was distraught over the loss of his longtime partner. But Faye was taking it hard, even harder than he was. And he had to be strong... for her sake. If he wasn't, they would all fall apart. Ed had returned to them only days after Spike disappeared and she, too, was saddened by the bounty hunter's departure. It was strange to see Ed to take interest in anything with meaning, but the girl had definately been more subdued lately, preferring to type on Tomato all day without a word to anyone except her mindless babble that she directed at the computer and Ein in a quiet tone.  
  
"Sure..."  
  
He opened the door and walked inside. The second he entered, it felt like he'd walked into a crypt. Faye was lying, face-down, on the bed with her face in the pillow. The room was dark, the only light coming from the open door and the TV, which was currently showing black and white fuzz. The sheets on her bed were completely thrown off in a mess on the floor, save the one she was lying on top of. "Are you okay?" he asked gently, not daring to move any closer.  
  
"Mmm... yeah."  
  
"You want some dinner?"  
  
"Nah..."  
  
"There's a new bounty head, do you want to go get it. We need the cash."  
  
"Not really..."  
  
"For chrissakes, Faye!" Jet burst out. "You can't sit in here forever without eating or sleeping. I don't even think you've moved except to go to the bathroom and when you do that, you look like a zombie. I know that Spike's leaving has affected you, it's affected us all, but you can't brood in here forever and expect life to just stop because - "  
  
"Shut up, Jet."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Go away."  
  
Jet shook his head, losing his steam rather quickly. "Yeah... if you get hungry, there's food out here." With that, he left, closing the door behind him. If Faye was going to be such a... well, whatever. He understood. Jet had lost one of his best friends. So had Faye. She had a right to be sad. He headed off to see if Ed was hungry.  
  
He reached the 'sitting room', so called because it was the only place in the Bebop besides the bedrooms where there was any place to sit. Ed was there, perched on the floor in front of Tomato, clicking away on the keyboard. Ein lay next to her, sprawled on the floor with his tongue hanging out.  
  
"Hungry, Edward?" Jet asked, standing in front of her. Ed looked up at him warily.  
  
"Ed is hungry, Jet-person," she replied in monotone. Jet sighed, turning and stalking off into the kitchen. The whole damn ship was like a frigging funeral home. He briefly cursed Spike. Why? Why couldn't he let his past play out by itself? Why did he have to run off with no real explanation except 'to find out if he was really alive' like Faye had told Jet he'd said before she'd sunk into depression.  
  
Suddenly, Ed yelped. He couldn't quite make out what she was saying from where he was, but he figured she was just complaining from hunger pains. He picked up the plate of bell peppers and beef (for once, truly with beef) and walked into the room where Ed was.  
  
"Ed, supper's on! Come and get... it..." He trailed off when he saw what he did. Ed was hugging the person that was standing in the middle of the room, wearing a smirk. A cigarette was held between two fingers and the other arm was around Ed. "I can't believe it... Are you... Can you be..." Jet stammered.  
  
Ed grinned, the first time in a long time. "It's Spike-person!" she cried.  
  
I want you to know that I'm happy for you  
  
I wish nothing but the best for you both  
  
An older version of me  
  
Is she perverted like me  
  
Would she go down on you in a theatre  
  
Does she speak eloquently  
  
And would she have your baby  
  
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother  
  
'Cause the love that you gave that we made  
  
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no  
  
And every time you speak her name  
  
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me  
  
Until you died, 'til you died  
  
But you're still alive  
  
And I'm here to remind you  
  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
  
It's not fair to deny me  
  
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
  
You, you, you oughta know  
  
(c) Alanis Morissette  
  
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***  
  
Yeah, yeah, I know. The beginning was rather basic and predicable, but things get better, promise! For now, review and then go on to the next chapter. Or go on to the next chapter and leave a long review after reading, your choice! ^_^  
  
Oh, yeah, and I chose this song as something Faye might be thinking about Julia and Spike. Yeah... the chorus fits if nothing else. *hehe* ~Kyla 


	2. Nothing's Changed

I got a review! *claps* Thank you, SpecterQueen, for the encouraging words. (I'm glad to know you wanna know how the next chapter goes)  
  
Yeah, and y'all know that Cowboy Bebop most definately doesn't belong to me.  
  
Whisper  
  
By: Kyla Kaiba  
  
Chapter Two: Nothing's Changed  
  
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***  
  
The green-haired misfit grinned wider, ecstatic at the sight of his friend. "Hey, Jet."  
  
For a moment, the other man just stared. Here was Spike, standing in the Bebop again. It had been almost two weeks since he'd disappeared and Jet had been almost sure that he was never returning. But there he stood. And he wasn't a figament of his imagination, because Ed most obviously could see him and was hugging him.  
  
Spike watched him with a bemused expression. "What, no 'welcome back'? No 'I'm so glad you're alive'? Oh, yeah, that probably would come from the woman. Where is she anyway?" He realized then that Faye wasn't in the room, scolding him, arguing with him, or laughing at him. It was strange. He'd expected that to remain the same.  
  
"Uh, Spike, I wouldn't talk to her right now. She's not... feeling well."  
  
"Eh? Is she sick?"  
  
"Well, you could say that, I suppose."  
  
"What's wrong with her?"  
  
"She's in her bedroom, holed up. She won't come out, won't talk to anybody, won't eat or sleep. All she does is brood and drink alcohol. I'm getting worried about her." Jet shook his head sadly. Spike merely stared.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You stupid idiot."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Spike-personnnn!" Ed exclaimed, causing both men to look at her. She released him and backed off, gazing earnestly up at his face. "Faye-Faye was sad that Spike-person left! Ed knows because Ed listens to Faye-Faye! Ed was coming out of the toilet-room and heard Faye-Faye crying! Yep yep yep! Now, Ed has not seen Faye-Faye in three days, but Jet-person went to see her and she's not dead, nope nope nope!"  
  
Spike gazed at the girl in mild confusion. "Sad because I left?"  
  
Ed shook her head and the smile disappeared, replaced by a look of exasperation. "Spike-person really is a lunkhead, just like Faye-Faye says!"  
  
Lunkhead... there's something I haven't heard for a while, Spike thought. "Well, if she really was sad that I left, I should go see her and show her I'm back, right? Man, of all people, I thought Faye would be the least worried about me."  
  
Without waiting for Jet's approval, he turned and headed down the hall towards Faye's room. Strange, that she'd worry about him... In fact, it was strange that she even cared he was gone.  
  
When he reached her door, he knocked a couple times.  
  
"Jet, if it's you again, I told you to go the hell away, I don't feel like talking."  
  
Her voice, Spike noticed, made it sound like her tongue was made out of sandpaper. He didn't care if she wanted him to come in or not, he pushed the door open and walked into the room.  
  
It was cold and dark inside and he immediately wondered how she'd been living in these conditions for three days, if it was true what Ed and Jet said. There were several bottles of liquor scattered around her bed. One was still half full. As for Faye herself, she was lying upon the bed without any covers on in her sleeping clothes - shorts and a tank top - that looked very wrinkled. From what Spike could see, she needed a shower, decent nourishment, and some human contact.  
  
"Damn it, I told you not to come in here."  
  
She didn't get up from her belly-flopped position on the bed. He simply stood there, at a loss. It was enough that she'd even care he was gone. It was another that she'd be sitting in her bedroom in this condition. Spike just stood there, his hands in his pockets, and waited.  
  
"Well, if you're gonna just sit there all day, you might as well tell me whatever it is you have to say and - " She finally turned around and her words were cut off sharply. The black and white fuzz of the TV lit up enough of the room so that she could see Spike and he could see her emerald eyes slowly widening until they were the size of plates.  
  
Oh my god... It's Spike. It's really him. He's back... and he's... not...  
  
"...Spike...?"  
  
"Hey."  
  
For a moment, neither said anything. Finally, Spike, looking for a neutral conversation starter, casually said "So... how've ya been?"  
  
Everything that had been building up inside of Faye exploded. "How do you THINK I've been?!" she cried, making him jump. "How does it LOOK like I've been?! Miserable! I was worried sick about you! Jet, Ed, and I... we thought you were dead. And you waltz in here like nothing ever happened! I know Jet and Ed are forgiving of such behavior, that Jet, being Jet, can put up with it and Ed's too shallow to care. But me... I was worried. Stressed. I sat in here and got drunk a thousand times. I counted thousands of sheep trying to get to sleep. After about a week and a half, it sunk in. I stopped being optimistic. I stopped thinking you were coming back. I gave up!"  
  
"But why?" he asked, at a loss. "Why did you care so much?"  
  
Because I love you!! her mind screamed.  
  
"Well, I'm your friend and somewhat of a business partner. Why wouldn't I worry?"  
  
Stupid woman... she scolded herself.  
  
"Well... as you can see, I'm here and I'm perfectly healthy. So what's with the worry? Nothing has happened to me, Faye. I beat Vicious, I avenged Julia."  
  
Julia...  
  
That was the last person Faye wanted to hear about. She had to remind herself to calm down. "Well, goody. Spike Spiegel's back to wreck havoc upon our boring little lives. I consider myself blessed."  
  
"Hey... you wanted me back," he said, grinning.  
  
"I suppose I did. Life is boring without you, lunkhead."  
  
"Lunkhead..." Spike laughed. "Nothing's changed."  
  
Ah... Faye thought, sitting up. But there, you're wrong.  
  
An outcast coming home, opinions stay the same  
  
They'll spit them out and spin me right back through the door  
  
The louder that we scream, the more invisible we seem  
  
Is it gonna last forever  
  
Now I'm learning the lies  
  
From the skies where they reign  
  
Can't find shelter for myself  
  
And you're all to blame  
  
And I remember, and I recall  
  
And I can see that nothing's changed at all  
  
Though we falter, we don't have to fall  
  
And I can see that nothing's changed at all  
  
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***  
  
Hmmm... gotta wonder... Will Faye tell Spike how she feels? (I don't even know...) And does Spike feel the same? Ahhh... guess you'll have to wait and find out!  
  
This particular song, especially the first line and chorus, were selected mainly to show Spike's coming home and that he thinks nothing's changed but he's wrong and... yeah... you probably get it. *blush* ~Kyla 


End file.
